Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life

Alphabetized Existence page 35-

AMY

The first person with that name I met was named Amy Rubin, in 3^rd grade.  She had a twin brother, who’s name I cannot recall at the moment. Amy and Joel? Amy and David? Do either of those names go together?  In fact, I’m not even sure if her last name was Rubin, it could have been Cohen.  I do remember it was a Jewish name.

Since then, I have met two Amys.  My best friend Rob’s ceramicist girlfriend in grad school and a painter of ethereal miniature scenes I met at a Smack Mellon Residency in Dumbo.  I’m sure I’ve had a few students with that name, but most of their names are forgotten the second I turn in grades.

AMY ROSENTHAL

The namesake of this exercise in writing that I am attempting this year.  I first discovered her while looking for fun books to read to the kids for my program at Brooklyn Public Library.  My three favorites are: Duck !Rabbit!, Spoon and !.

ANSWERING MACHINE

Since Amy’s book, the answering machine has largely been replaced by voice mail.  Though I suppose people who still have landlines have answering machines.  And people of a certain age still use it, like my mother.   It feels so quaint to listen to the robotic voice of the machine letting us know what number is calling, so we can ignore it.  I remember the thrill of coming home to my dark apartment and seeing the red blink of the machine when I used to live alone in my 20s, hoping the man of the moment had called.

ANXIOUS, THINGS THAT MAKES ME.

The first day of any class I will be teaching, no matter how prepared I am gives me nightmares, followed by insomnia.  The dreams are always the same; I am somewhere having a great time, and at around 7am in the dream, realize that I have to begin teaching in a few hours.  There is no way I can make it to class on time, and so I spend the rest of the dream thinking of how to solve this dilemma until I bolt awake, usually around 4am.  Then I stay up worrying about class for another 2 hours until I have to drag myself out of bed.

Reading Journal: Goodbye Vitamin

Goodbye Vitamin: A Novel by Rachel Khong.

As generation X, which I am a part of, gets older, we are given a new title:  Some of us are now renamed the Sandwich Generation because we are caught between two tasks; caring for our own children as we juggle to care for our parents.  The question is always: how can I continue taking care of this Benjamin Button-like creature, while hustling to research middle school applications at the same time? The vitamin at the title of this book we say goodbye to, is going down the hatch…hoping it will keep memory loss at bay. 

Rachel Khong's book is structured in the form of a journal of sorts.  It lays out one year in the life of Ruth, (starting on December 26^th) the protagonist marking her days, starting with the moment her father’s pants are found in a tree.  He is beginning to lose his memory, and thus Ruth moves back home to her childhood home to help out.  The prognosis points to Alzheimer’s.  In her journal, there are flashbacks to her (delusional) happy life with an ex-boyfriend.  There are journal entries written by the father, about Ruth as a child; precocious and adorable like:

Today when you lost a tooth, you cried that you looked like a pumpkin. When I told you to behave, you said “I am being HAVE!”

This story takes a big problem happening in one family’s life and breaks it down into small obstacles.  Their problem is not historic, it does not span a large swath of time.  It is written from the personal, the interior and very much alone. 

This is Rachel Khong’s first novel. It got rave reviews.  It’s good but, it’s no White Teeth by Zadie Smith; though there were some funny bits, like thoughtfully funny, introspectively funny.

The narrative slowly unfolds hidden in a collection of random facts and trivia.

It poses the question: what happens when we become our parent’s parent?  When our parents become children? And halfway into Ruth’s year at home, June 11^th to be exact, the role reversal becomes obvious, and Ruth begins to mimic the journal entries of her father.  Anecdotes are cute when describing the behavior of a toddler, but when those same stories depict one's own parent’s actions, it is heartbreaking.

Off to re-read White Teeth next.

this is my story- pages 1-9

Orientation Almanac (page 1-9)

Amy has included this section for those who may read her book in a far distant future to see what life in America was like when the book was written, similar to what parents do for their baby’s first book.

These were the things important to my mother on the day I was born:

• clipping from the Asahi Shimbun (newspaper) showing the Apollo 8 Astronauts being rescued by helicopter

The price of:

•  rice (1.8 l)                              235 yen
• milk (180cc)                          25 yen
• postage stamp?                    15 yen
• pack of chicken Ramen         23 yen
• 100 yen bill.

 Currently the exchange rate of  Yen to the Dollar is:  100 Japanese Yen= .88 USD.

So everything has inflated in cost except a pack of Chicken Ramen, which has stayed the same.

The things important to me on the day Hiro was born:

The price of:

• Subway single ride                                       $2.00
• A grandma pie slice                                      $2.50
• First class stamp                                            42 cents
• Gasoline from Woodside Mobile station     $3.75 a gallon

We also kept the newspaper on the day he was born, but one month later, Barak Obama was elected as our first African American President, so we have a box full of every newspaper that reported on that amazement.

*****

Here is the Backdrop of American life at the beginning of 2018 (afterAKR)

I did general Google searches, and may not be accurate.  please put additions (or subtractions) in the comment so I can add it to this list.

World population:

7.6 Billion

Top News stories 2017:

DACA- Dream Act

Hurricane Maria- Puerto Rico

North Korea-Nuclear weapons program

Hurricane Harvey- Texas

Solar Eclipse

Crushing ACA (Obamacare)

Las Vegas Shooting

Terrorism (still)

Black Lives Matter (still)

Trump, Fake News, Women’s March, Demonstrations

Russian collusion of US election

Sexual Harassment accusations (Weinstein) #metoo

Republican Tax Bill

Countries in Power:

United States

Russia

China

United Kingdom

Germany

To whom Americans Attribute Power

Major political figures

Billionaires

CEOs of tech companies, investment banks, real estate.

Entertainers (especially couples)

Cost of Living Averages:

Stamp                         $0.49

Pack of gum               $1.49

Quart of milk             $1.20

Organic Qt. milk         $3.49

Gallon of gas              $2.49

Loaf of bread             $2.50

Pack of cigarettes      $5.51

Movie ticket               $14.30

Hardcover book         $27.00

Pair of Levi’s              $52.00

Confirmed Planets

Mercury

Venus

Earth

Mars

Jupiter

Saturn

Uranus

Neptune

Most Watched Television Programs 2017:

Super Bowl 50

Presidential Debates

World Series Game 7: Cubs vs. Indians

Vice Presidential debate

Donald Trump RNC acceptance Speech

88^th Academy awards

The Walking Dead

The Big Bang Theory

This is Us

What We Call the Other Driver When Angry

Asshole

Fucking asshole

Fucker

You shit

Ways to Exercise

Jogging/tread mill

Biking/ Spin class

Yoga

Zumba

Swimming

Kickboxing

Barre

Common Signs

Exit

Men/Women

No Trespassing

No Menus or Fliers

CPR poster

Machines We Own

Coffeemaker

Microwave

Smartphone

Desktop computer

Notebook computer

iPad/tablet computer

Wifi router, extender, adapter

Printer/copier

Headphones and ear buds

Air purifier/white noise machine

Washer/dryer

Vacuum cleaner

Flat Screen TV

Streaming and media players

Popular Kids Names in the US

Sophia             Jackson

Olivia              Liam

Emma              Noah

Ava                 Aiden

Isabella            Lucas

Mia                 Caden

Aria                 Grayson

Riley               Mason

Childhood Rhymes

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none,
And this little piggy cried "wee wee wee" all the way home

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell down and bumped his head,
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"

Four, Three Two, little monkeys…..

One little monkey jumping on the bed,
She fell down and bumped her head,
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Put those monkeys right to bed!"

here's the church

Here is the church,
And here is the steeple,
Open the door
And see all the people.

Miss Lucy had a steam boat
The steamboat had a bell,
Miss Lucy went to heaven and the
Steamboat went to...
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I will kick you from...
Behind the 'fridgerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it
And she cut her little...
Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Pulling down their...
Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Lucy and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the...
Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is like a tv set
And that is all I know.

How do you escape a room with a table and mirror and no windows or doors?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw

You take the saw, cut the table in half,

Two halves make a whole and you climb out of the hole.

Most Popular After-School Activities

Sports

Dance, gymnastics

Theater

Music instruction

Chess

Martial arts

Colors in the Rainbow

ROYGBIV

Colors of the J. Crew Catalogue

The colors are basic online, but apparently are different on the paper catalogue

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/13/jcrew-colors_n_6141708.html

Sex

Kissing

Fondling

Touching

Oral sex

Penetration

Excuses

I’m sick/kid sick

Over scheduled

Forgot to put on calendar

Couldn’t find a sitter

Had to work

Trying to save money

Traffic/subway problems

How We Answer the Question “How Are You”

Good

Fine

Busy

Ok

What We Take to Feel Better

Over the counter pain meds- Advil, Tylenol

Alcohol- wine, beer, cocktail

Tobacco, pot

Meditation, Yoga

Exercise, fresh air

Junk food, ice cream, chocolate

What we say when we bang our knee on the corner of the table, burn a hand on a hot skillet or get frustrated trying to untangle a computer cord.

Shit!

Fuck!

Dam it!

Numbers and Codes We All memorize

Home address

Our own cellphone number

Our significant other’s cellphone number

Social security number

Email password

Our loved one’s birthdates

Home Security system code

Acronyms that are common but confusing

NASDAQ

NASCAR

NAACP

STMP

ISBN

FERPA

Dialogue as we pass coworker in the hall

Hey

Hi

How’s it going?

What's up?

Good morning

See you tomorrow

Letters in our Alphabet

Aa Bb Cc Dd Ee Ff Gg Hh Ii Jj Kk Ll Mm Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz

manspreading

Common Slang

Dude

Foodie

Freak flag

Hangry

Lit

Woke

Throwing shade

Cis

Awesome sauce

Mansplaining

Manspreading

Bromance

Most Frequently Used Words

. . . . .

Happy New Year!

Not necessarily a new years resolution but here are my three projects for the year:

1.  read more (see reading list above)
2. write more (see This is my story above)
3. keep biking (see me maybe on Kent Avenue)
4. socialize more (see supper club above)